Happy New Year
I apologise for not having posted anything recently, and also for not having read any of your blogs. I will be back on the blogroll when i get back to work. At the moment I am concentrating on more constructive things...
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/31/2003 07:36:00 pm

 
Peace be with you
big up to all you homies out there....no really.

It is officially Christmas, right here, right now. So I am going to go round blogging peace at people irrespective of their relative time zone. GMT is God's time and I shall treat it as such.

In other news my utopia kingdom won't open, so all my peasants will be starving to death while I feast upon turkey and mince pies...hmm.

Sounds like Christmas in a fiefdom to me!!!

Anyway. Cheery Pip...and say hello to the tooth fairy if you meet him leaving presents in your mouth.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/25/2003 12:01:00 am

 
Right.
This may well be the last post I do before Christmas. I am in London and it is wet. I have been avoiding work in Farringdon but am scared that it may catch up with me some time this afternoon and kick the living crap out of me. I have no illusions about how many of you will follow the link below. [check out the guestmap!] But it really is very amusing.

Anyway I hope you lot have a good Christmas and I hope that the New Year finds you happy and satisfied with many things not least the fact that Christmas is over for another year.

There has been very little on my mind of late, at least very little that I care to share, and since I know the vast majority of my meagre audience personally I am in no mood to post the little things that have.

What I have to suggest is a little diversion for Christmas day, and it has to be Christmas day, but those of you that will join me will be most appreciated. I suppose it could be seen as a Christmas Flash Blog [rather than a flash mob] or a christmas meme.

The diversion I have in mind might take a little time but I urge you all to take time out and do it, and to urge anyone you know who has a blog to do it, and think about all those little bits of happiness we can distribute across the world.

[and I realise that I still haven't told you my idea.]

THE IDEA

On Christmas day log on to the net and swoop round as many blogs as you can find, jump round blogsnob, down the great malaysian blog ring, across and between as many links as you can, no matter if you know the blogger themselves, in fact better if you don't and leave this message...

"Peace be with you."

What I am hoping is that via the magic of reverse links these people will come back to your site and reply:

"and also with you."

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE try to spread this idea to as many people as you can, even if you can't do it yourself, the more people know about it the more people will take part, and the more people will get the message.

I understand that this is I suppose a form of spam, and that my suggestion can be seen as the beginning of a chain letter style thing both of which I abhor, but I think that it is a meme that deserves to be spread, and the quickest way to reach potentially millions of people who you don't know is via the internet.


- posted by Buntifer @ 12/23/2003 12:57:00 pm

 
~*~ Secret Diaries ~*~
Secret Diaries

This is required reading...fucking funny. Sooooo much better than "Bored of the Rings" which is unintelligent, unfunny and only has one joke. (Which I won't spoil for you, save to say that Bilbo is called Dildo)
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/23/2003 10:09:00 am

 
I'm getting my kids dolls from here.
check out the doll galleries
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/22/2003 04:47:00 pm

 
Well well well.
What a surprise that was. I didn't see it coming and I shouldn't think any of you out there in the rest of the world did either. Well I never, slap my thighs and call me Charley...jolly me rogers and blow me sideways what a fucking surprise [the u & c keys work at work.]

No actually I'm not surprised at all. It is typical, utterly predictable and well worth ignoring for as long as possible.

Ah well, Christmas is well on the way, the shops have refined their piped in music systems so that all that ever gets played is Slade "So here we go." Over and over again. It is a bold move and the shops never get the courage up to do it until about five days before hand. Either that or it takes them that long to find the "repeat" button. They hike the prices even higher and start showing films on tv about how "good" parents will have already bought their kids hideously expensive action toys by now and won't leave it till Christmas eve to have a change of heart and decide that little Jimmy/Johnny/Angela/Cecil/Susie/asshole/Mary/whatever will be disappointed with the beautiful book they have bought her/him/the little fucker and really needs something that will entertain him/her/the little fucker for Christmas day.

Corporate swine.

Now is the time to look at what you are doing with your life and realise that; no, you are not going to get a raise at Christmas because your job is too shit to warrent one.

It is the time of peace and goodwill to all men, unless they are of another religion, in which case we will keep shooting at them and dropping bombs, although we might use more of the automated ones that seek out hospitals on Christmas so that we can relax a bit.

It is a time to be with ones family, to experience the misery and anger that can be brought to the boil if left simmering round the same tree for long enough.

It is the time when you realise that you don't need your family, that you were perfectly happy without them and that you really, actually quite dislike some of the more extended ones.

It is a time to palm your over excited and irritating children off on someone else, to feed them chocolate and sugar until they feel sick, and them exhort them to run round and round the house until they are sick. Then you have an excuse to smack them when you get home.

It is a time of understanding and forgiveness. We understand many of each others foibles , and we forgive ourselves for still despising one another.

It is a time for joy and happiness, so be happy and be joyful, or the rest of us will alienate you and poke fun at you until you are happy and joyful. Alright, you grumpy fucker? BE HAPPY OR I WILL FUCKING SLAP YOU!!!
[there we go, it's easy when you know how.]

It is a time for ridiculously cold weather, for pensioners to freeze to death while searching the fridge for that last bit of brandy butter, for the Government to increase heating allowance in pensions, and for the companies to increase the cost of heat. The Lord giveth with one hand, and with the other The Lord taketh away.

It is a time of employment for white bearded porky fellows, their stumpy mates and their reindeer. A time of belief and disbelief, we don't belive in Father Christmas/Santa Claus/St Nicholas/The Tooth Fairy but we do believe in the other white bearded chap in the sky. Only he doesn't bring us presents so fuck him.

It is a time of penance, of going to church only to realise that it is cold....really cold, and that the church hasn't been able to afford any heating because for the rest of the year it stands empty, bereft of hypocrisy and jaded faces.[which both turn up to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jean Claude van Damme.]

Christmas is fun. Everyone enjoys Christmas. Cheer up it's Christmas. Merry Christmas. Good Tidings We Bring. Happy Xmas. Peace be with you, and also with our troops...who aren't coming home...and those that were shot by the American troops...and those that are dead for no particular reason.

Rudolf the red nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose,
When Santa used to whip him, he always used to use a hose.
The RSPCA ignored it, they couldn't let the kiddies down,
If Rudolf wasn't motivated Santa couldn't make it round.

Then one snowy Christmas night Rudolf died mid flight,
The sleigh it started to plunge down, out of the starry night.
Santa whipped and cried and cursed, he flogged till Rudolf bled,
But it didn't change a thing, Rudolf was quite dead.

Santa looked up to the stars, his bloodshot eyes grew tears,
He took a pull from his hip flask, and wiped it on his beard.
"Fuck" he said, and dropped the hose, it clattered to the floor,
Its bloody length that used to beat the nose that shone no more.

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, into Oxford Street he crashed,
while the sacks and sleigh exploded rudolph and the reindeer splashed,
Chunks of reindeer meat hit people, blood and guts were everywhere,
The red nose of Rudolf reindeer, was picked out of a toddlers hair.

Santa had a parachute, so he made it okay,
He landed on a roof nearby and made his getaway,
The children didn't get their gifts, it served the fuckers right,
Expecting someone old and kind, to work on Christmas night.

Rudolf the red nosed reindeer, traumatised the little boy,
The nightmares were pretty gruesome, and he was always scared of toys,
Santa staggered home to Lapland, and executed all the elves,
then he went to get his shotgun, and finished off the job himself.

- posted by Buntifer @ 12/22/2003 08:49:00 am

 
Lygophilia

- posted by Buntifer @ 12/19/2003 11:25:00 am

 
Influence
The influence of the individual on the net can be massive. Google ranks pages in importance by counting the genuine links to the page, which is one way. It is no idle boast of Maddox that he has one of the most influential pages on the net is not an idle one. He may not inform or indeed write anything beneficial to society, but he entertains, and he gets a lot of traffic.

Whether or not we manage to alter the views of any readers or not is a case for debate. Most internet users are savvy enough to have realised that nothing [nothing] that one reads on the net is true and that everything must be taken not only with a pinch of salt, but with quite a lot.

Had anyone heard for example that Saddam has a pardon dating from before the Gulf war, or tried typing "French Military Victories" into Google and hitting "I'm feeling lucky?"

Pat Cadigan's rules of the internet (which I will look up and reference later) include the fact that you should never ever [and that is no superfluous superlative] believe anything anyone tells you in cyberspace.

Cyberspace gives anyone the chance to be anyone else, some people take that chance, and some people don't.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/19/2003 09:16:00 am

 
The Internet
The internet is a vast repository [thank heavens, I nearly typed suppository] for information, and more than that it is a wildly successful and ridiculously pervasive vector for memes but crucially and unlike other vectors it allows the users to search for the memes that they want. I can ignore all the pro-Bush web pages, and the Fundamentally gibbering Christian ones, I can even ignore the porn sites if I really try hard, and I can look for, and be certain of finding memes which agree with those already a part of me. For those of you who haven't debated this with me in the past or been forced to listen to me ramble on about it the theory is this, roughly.

Each person, the I, the ME that you feel inside your head [heart/left thigh/whatever] is a collection of memes called a memeplex. This memeplex we call your selfplex and within this there is stored every thing about you. Every piece of information about you that could ever be weasled out of your mind is there. Things you believe, things you disbelieve, things you think might be true, things you think are way out wacky fantastic fiction, things you like, things you hate, people you know [who are probably encoded as mini "peopleplexes" encompassing what you know about their likes/dislikes/sexual habits/eating habits/haircolour/voice etc]

Whenever a meme enters your body it is unconsciously analysed as to where it fits into the great selfplex scheme of things. The unlucky memes will be stored in the medium/short term memory for as long as it takes to forget them, these things include stuff like when you last had a McDonalds, who your local mp is, your anniversary/girlfriends birthday, etc.

The lucky ones will be taken in front of a council [if you like] of memes. They will be analysed for what they purport to be. A fact for example will be cross referenced for contradictions with currently held factual beliefs, if it does contradict one or more then it will be weighed against those it contradicts with respect to their respective veracity.

After judgement the fact will either be cast down into the torment that is disbelief and ridiculous facts, due only to be wheeled out when funny stories are called for etc etc. Or they will be elevated into a position of belief and defended [with reference to their supporting facts] whn challenged.

Every meme which is remembered has a category into which it will be placed in the mind, it is just that these categories are so many and their intereconnections and cross references more that having set the scene I now feel the need to allow your good selve sto complete the picture.

The point is that the internet allows you to pick your way through all the memes you would rather ignore to the ones which back up your way of life and belief systems. No other medium has allowed you to do that while still remaining immersed in the medium. The closest to it is Sky television with its screaming horde of channels and I speak from experience when I say that even with sky there are times when there is nothgin to watch. The only two people I know who can watch things they actually want to watch twenty four seven are my brother, who is happy to watch the 24/7 reruns of Rex Harrisons Fishing Adventures [or whatever it is, "I don't care if that was a three masted schooner, what a fish!"] and Gav who is capable of watching absolute faeces with the utmost dedication [see Teachers/Neighbours/Woody Allen movies]

The net holds more memes than any other medium on the planet, and what is more, they are our memes. Where else could I type this out and show it to people the other side of the Atlantic straight away, to show it to random strangers, who may or may not go away with something different in their heads.

The internet never needs get boring. It allows you, even if you can't find any new content, which would be hard, to create your own content. It gives you the chance to try some memetic design of your own.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/18/2003 01:38:00 pm

 
Memetic, synthetic, epileptic
Someone *thank you* gave me some cv advice the other day, and one of the strands that kept coming back was the fact that I need to give my cv direction. I don't have direction, those of you that know me know that. I am interested in way too many things and have actually tried so few of them that I find it very difficult to pin down what it is that I actually want to do.

Yet I was thinking about this, standing outside Waterloo feeling ill yesterday morning eating donuts and drinking orange juice in the sub-zero temperatures.

My entire life has been preparing me to be a memetic architect. Even before I knew this was what I wanted to do I was unconsciously selecting a-levels and extra curricular activities which were to prepare me for this.

I have always read voraciously which has exposed me to a great many memes and memeplexes of other authors and allowed by general knowledge base to be fairly wide, thus building a solid foundation for my core memeplex and its judgement and evaluation systems.

My familiarity with words, gained from reading, also allowed me a natural and unconscious dexterity with them. Words are the core of any higher meme and are necessary for any memes involving abstract concepts.

I have always enjoyed arguing, which is the vocal/linguistic embodiment of a memetic evaluation and modification system.

At a basic level my profile in new-group interactions is to listen at first becoming more vocal later on. This fits the profile of a memetic engineer allowing for individual preferences and getting to know the crowd before trying to tamper with their memes.

For A-level I studied sciences and Italian plus GS. Sciences I did because they were challenging, at least more so to me than English and more interesting than the humanities. From a memetic point of view studying the sciences is looking at how things work beneath the surface rather than taking a Skinnerian view and simply looking at behaviour. My increasing interest in genetics lead me to read the works of Richard Dawkins and his peer group, where of course I encountered the concept of memes for the first time. [and completely ignored it.]

The Italian was for recreation, an indulgence of my personal memeplex.

The debating and public speaking I did at school was at the time, ostensibly done because it scared the shit out of me and I didn't want not to be able to do that. [The same reason ostensibly I acted at uni.] With hindsight it is a necessary tool for a memetic architect to be able to stand up and outline the foundations of his memeplex and to be able to defend it against the depredations of rival memeplexes. I developed the ability to check what I said for defensability as I said it, which is always handy for instant retractions.

Ten Tors was a kind of meditation. With those kind of distances in such a short space of time and over such shitty ground it offered the opportunity to shut down the higher brain functions and concentrate on nothing, simply allowing the body into a physical state where exhaustion is not a question and one can keep walking till the cows come home. To be able to empty the mind like that is a valuable skill.

I studied psychology and neuroscience because I was interested in the boundary where mind became brain and brain became mind. [I am a reductionist btw] Unfortunately the interesting part of psychology & neuroscience, namely the ampersand was ignored entirely in the course and we were forced to study psychology. And Neuroscience. When they contradicted each other even the psychologists shrugged and admitted the neuroscientists were right. Put mildly, it wasn't what I was looking for.

Of course all forms of media are memetic vectors, and while I had always read and listened to music, I had never considered myself a film buff or particularly into the theatre. Having listened to far too much abstract jazz, where none of the musicians can agree what meme they are playing about I decided that music was not my most powerful memetic vector. Nor was it, since I don't play any instruments, one in which I was going to be able to design anything.

Theatre and film, however, have incredible possibilities for memetic distribution. While film reaches the masses with more power and dexterity than music, theatre reaches the few with an incredible amount of raw power. I became interested in these vecors and bagan to dabble. While it may be supposed that this was what I was originally aiming for, and for those crucial few moments outside Waterloo, before my fingers went entirely numb, I thought it too.

Enter...the revelation. Theatre and film are vectors for memes. That means they distribute them. But someone has to design the mechanism of transport, and someone has to create the memes. Now I may be able to make this clearer. An actor/ress is part of the vector, the vector has been created by the engineer, the director, and the memes themselves, which are made up by the script, have been put together by the memetic architect. An architect writes text. Original text in some format.

Since then I have been workign admin jobs in London, finding out a little more about the folly behind memes which are not regularly maintained, and exploring the internet.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/18/2003 12:59:00 pm

 
C ute Little Dead Girl
Cute little dead girl. This will mean more to those of you with speakers.

I am understandably not particularly inspired today.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/16/2003 05:27:00 pm

 
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Generator

mine was "I hate Christmas too...fucking carol singers -God

but I couldn't save it
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/16/2003 04:44:00 pm

 
Christmas Manifesto
I believe that Christmas is overhyped, hypercommercialised and has been hijacked for Capitalist gain.

I believe nobody knows what Christmas' origins are.

I therefore believe that the spirit of Christmas is based upon monetary transaction.

I believe that people who say Christmas is about being there for the ones you love should try that all year round.

I believe that I enjoy the time off work as much as anybody else.

I do not believe in God, and am not interested in "his son's" birthday.

I do not understand why people call it "Xmas" and/or "Crimbo" but I find those names repugnant.


I will not "cheer up it's Christmas"

I will not spend the amounts of money companies seem to expect me to be happy to pay.

I will however, buy gifts, because I enjoy giving, and because it is expected of me.

I will go home for Christmas - because it is expected of me.

I will not however and therefore, have anything resembling a good time.


I know why most suicides occur at Christmas - and it has nothing to do with being alone.


- posted by Buntifer @ 12/16/2003 02:13:00 pm

 
Vampires! The Dark Alleyway
Join me in this biting game...I need the blood and my sire [Kat] seems to have disappeared....not that any of you will, but hey.It is worth a try.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/15/2003 11:15:00 am

 
Typical student my left testicle
what a load of shit

What a load of shit. I will puke if another paper tells me that typical students eat crisps and chocolate.

What the f**k happened to beer and kebabs...eh? eh? eh?
or f**king pot noodles and traitors gate vodka.

Tossers. (not him, them)
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/15/2003 09:19:00 am

 
Merry Fucking Christmas

- posted by Buntifer @ 12/10/2003 01:09:00 pm

 
Glad to see you all enjoyed that. You miserable fuckers
You see this is the problem. Any time I ever post something of which I'm really proud, everyone ignores it. Well see what it gets you. No more bile filled goodness for you.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/08/2003 12:25:00 pm

 
An Employee's Manifesto
I do not know what you want from me, because you cannot be serious.

I will however, wear a suit if you honestly believe that clothes maketh the man.

I will smile and nod agreement if that is all the input that you want.

I will not point out problems if you believe your way is perfect.

I will not ask questions if you do not want to know my thoughts.

I will give you the rope you ask for if you sincerely want to hang yourself.

I will follow your instructions to the letter if you refuse to see my spirit.

I will give you what you want if that is what you explicitly ask for.

I will work one hundred and ten percent on any tasks that demand that much of me.

I will follow like the sheep you think I am until you fall...

...then I will turn my back and find a better way.

but

I believe that what is underneath and inside is what makes me valuable to you.

I believe that my input may add to yours and can make it better.

I believe that the spirit of the law is greater than the letter.

I believe that I can help you, and if we travel side by side then I can catch you when you fall...

...and I would, if you believed I could.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/04/2003 08:02:00 pm

 
FUCK
Firstly, FUCK blogs4God for not accepting my application. Secondly FUCK the Baby Jesus. FUCK him in the ear.

Secondly what the FUCK is the problem with employers. Why the FUCK do they seem to want talentless FUCKwits who probably wear FCUK clothes and go to FCUKing Ibiza for their holidays. Why do the employers not want the individual? Why can't they see that the individual can be better for the company as a whole provided they are treated as an individual?

If they want a FUCKing production line of robots monotonously doing anything they tell them to do WHY DON'T THEY COMPUTERISE THE FUCKING SYSTEM?

Oh...because it costs too much. It isn't the McJobs that are the problem. It is the McEmployees who are either too stupid or simply too willing to forgo any rights they might ever have held.

If there weren't any McEmployee's there wouldn't be any McJobs.

Fuck the lot of you [present company probably excepted]
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/04/2003 01:16:00 pm

 
Bush's Big Idea
and I quote, (we aim to) "control the new 'international commons' of space and 'cyberspace,' and pave the way for the creation of a new military service-U.S Spce Forces- with the mission of space control.

Well goddamn it, I want to be a space cadet.

"over the long term, Iran may prove as large a threat to U>S interests in the Gulf as Iraq has"

So guess who is next? hmm...[scratches head]

"it is important that NATO not be replaced by the European UNion, leaving the US without a voice in European security affairs."

Suddenly I'm all for a centralisation of armed forces as a European task force.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/03/2003 01:34:00 pm

 
another day, another blog
I am not in the requisite frame of mind for blogging. Too busy writing.

I do recommend Bush's Big Idea to those of you who like horror stories...interesting read. [that is what I am doing today at work]
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/03/2003 01:11:00 pm

 
There is one thing I feel I should blog which
occurred to me yesterday evening as I left my place of employment and slipped my headphones over my head.

Hixxy was blaring Party Time into my ears at full volume and I realised that there is a plus point about having a shitty job.

Every time I leave work I feel great. I feel that leap in my heart thats speaks of skipping school. I am walking down the street, it doesn't matter if it is pissing down with rain, and I feel awesome. The days work is done and I am on my way back to a flat which I enjoy living in, to the brunette, who I love with all my heart and to a life, which, all in all, isn't too bad.

[I still want another job though]
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/02/2003 05:04:00 pm

 
I don't know if anyone else can read this but...
I am being prevented from accessing my blog and thus shall not be posting until I next can. It seems to be a server side error but it could be my end.

Having finally managed to access the blog I find that I have been dragged kicking and screaming into writing part of my novel at work so my inspiration is otherwise directed. If you are bored and you don't know what NaNoWriMo is then look it up. I ain't writing for that but it is a nice idea.
- posted by Buntifer @ 12/02/2003 02:37:00 pm